Seriously who are you?

I know of one person who frequents this blog. 

That said, when I see 18 views in one day, it really makes me wonder.

"Who else reads this blog?"

The way I see it there are two possibilities. 

The first is that the one person I know who frequents this blog simply refreshes the page a couple dozen times.

The second is that there are more people visiting my blog.

Who are you? 

Has there even been a not shitty New Years?

First off I would like to preface this post with the following:

Today blew.

I wanted to simply reconnect with one of my best friends who is a real life person now. But, as per usual, expectation was the towering little-girl-dream-wedding-cake to reality's stepped on twinkie.
Okay, whatever, maybe we never really connected as much as I remember. Perhaps we could both go to the cinema and enjoy a quality film! What's that you say? You want to bring one of you other friends whom I barely know? Fair enough! Though that makes me the thirdiest wheel of all! Luckily MY friend whom YOU barely know will also be attending due to my guilt-trip texting one-two punch! Now to wait for the movie...

...


...


Whats that, other friend? You don't want to go to the movie anymore? Very well then, good thing we have plans to meet up tomorrow.

I am just glad I have New Years plans. Best New Years ever, amiright? Wait, what? Spending time with your Aunt? How about yo... Oh... Working that night. OKAY THEN I guess drinking alone in the dark for the third consecutive New Years is good enough for me.

Best New Years ever... Woo... hoo....

Thank god the movie is starting. Maybe being the third wheel won't suck as much tonight!

...

OH MY GOD THIS SUCKS SO MUCH.

well. That movie was terrible. Typical crap.

At least I have plans with Other friend tomorrow. Wait, what's that, Dad? Don't want to drive me into town tomorrow? Well okay then. I guess no plans tomorrow.

Pre-Christmas Gifts.

Heres what I have received for Christmas thus far, in no particular order:

-Blazer with giant shoulder pads
-Old Spice gift box containing one (1) bottle of cologne and one (1) bottle of aftershave (For when the time comes)
-Box of 24 belgian chocolate seashells
-Glow stick shaped like a hand gun
-VHS copy of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
-Copy of insane book "Charlie's a Broad" (Which is written so outlandishly terrible I doubt I will ever read it to the end)
-Copy of "How to Archer"
-Two (2) Packages of Japanese candy
-Borderlands 2 on steam
-A single mechanical pencil

Gifts I am speculated or confirmed to receive:

-A (presumably crappy) Portable record player
-Electric guitar distortion pedal

I enjoy eclectic collections of things.

Ow, My Feels

This is why I dont ask girls out. Because 9.99 times out of 10 they dont like me back and then they reject me and then it's awkward for everyone involved. Why is it so hard to just say yes? I mean come one. I like to think I am a nice guy, but it's kinda hard to be confident when you are in everyone's collective friend-zone. I pay attention to how I look, I try to minimize my insane behavior around girls, I am nice. What am I doing wrong?

You know what, don't answer that. I'll just get really defensive.

Oh and if you didn't get that I got rejected last night. Not a good time. It was one of those "You guys would look totally cute together" kind of things.



WHY WON'T ANYONE LOVE ME?

Where is everybody?

I didn't really imagine being home alone for this long would be so...
Lonely.
Seriously. I havent talked to another human being in at least sixteen hours. Is everyone dead but me?

...

BRB phone

...

Never mind, I think it was one of those automated telemarketer things.

*sigh*




Oh God. So alone.

Grape Juice

Like-like is what happens
When like
meets like

Like-like is what happens
when your heart
kicks your brain
in the nuts

and then makes some
awesomely stupid decisions
while the brain is busy
doubled over

Like-like is what happens
When two people watch one too many movies together
or go on one too many walks together
or spend a little too much time together

Like-like is what happens
when you leave grape juice in the cupboard
for too long
and it turns into wine.

Right in the face

I'm sorry
But your face was asking for it.
Begging for it.

I'm sorry
But I didn't know what to make
of your shocked expressions

I'm sorry
But in all honesty,
It's been a long time coming.

I'm sorry
But you just looked like
you really deserved
a kiss.

God this is so cheesy and awful please forgive me.

Envy

God why am I always so fucking jealous

It goes like this.

It's  an acidic taste in my mouth

alkaline in my blood.

The slow sluggish feeling of realizing

"Hey.

This isn't fair"


It's not knowing quite where my feet are

or where they are taking me

Not knowing quite what my hand is doing

or what it is writing.


It's the sound of music

Angry music

Dangerously loud.

to rattle the unclean thoughts

from my head.

It's every fiber of my body telling me to stand up an scream

"THAT'S BULLSHIT!

That should be me..."

That should be me.

Blast off in 10... 9... 8...

Expect frequent updates this weekend.

We started a poetry unit in my writing class. and I am home alone. Those two factors have the potential to make me very poetic.

that and I have nothing better to do.

WHY ARE YOU YELLING?

So far, it was been an interesting weekend. That is mostly how I would feel if I was well rested enough to feel much of anything at all, but right now all bets are off. Last night was a pretty good time for the most part. Today was pretty alright. I don't really know what else to say. My herpes is getting painfully enflamed. This is much worse than usual. We may have a problem.

cookie dough

Why can I not have a relationship that is at all mutual?
How come whenever I express intrest for someone it is always entirely one-sided?

hm. Maybe I will find what I am looking for at the bottom of a tub a cookie dough.

Its Alright.

So there was this dance thing last night. It was alright I guess. Could have been better.
You know that scene from [500] Days of Summer where Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets invited to Zooey Deschanel's party and there are two frames and one is labeled "Expectation" and one is labeled "Reality"?

Yeah thats kind of how it was for me.

Things I enjoy about dances:
-Having an excuse to wear a three piece suit, fedora, cane and colone.
-Flailing my arms wildly and no one caring.
-Dat ass.

Things I do not enjoy about dances:
-Terrible pop songs/terrible remixes of terrible pop songs.
-Getting hot and regretting wearing a three piece suit and a fedora.
-Not being able to hear anything afterwards.
-A general sense of loneliness and jealousy for no fucking reason whatsoever.*
-Dat ass**




*Okay there may have been some fucking reason whatsoever.
**Only applies to skanky hoes.