Winter.

Winter, why do you have to go any be such a bastard? You are ripping everyone I know to shreds. I can't remember seeing another happy person in the valley since you arrived. Seriously, Winter, you have outstayed your welcome. You didn't even give us any good snow days until it's almost time for you to leave. You are really good at sucking the happiness out of everything, aren't you, Winter. You just wander in here like you're so fucking cool but you know what, Winter? You just be a bitch. A little bitch who puts people down and neglects them and then no one is happy. People say they like you but only when you are not around. The you show up and everyone realizes how shitty you are. You have just got everyone feeling sorry for themselves. Do you like that, Winter? you sick son of a bitch. I am supposed to be the only cynical pessimist full of self hatred and bitterness, that's just my thing. But you just have to go and take that away from me by making everyone cynical pessimists full of self-hatred and bitterness. You are only good until New Years because then we have something to look forward to. After that you are just two long cold dark lonely months. Well, Winter, it's time for you to pack your bags and fuck off. You really mess with teens' hormones and I really want my friends back.

Thinking kind of sucks.

Well... not always. Not in small doses. Not if all you think about is stupid, trivial things like what I should write in my empty little corner of the internet. But if you think about big things it really starts to bum you out. Thinking about one big thing leads to thinking about other big things, and eventually your little brain is so full of big thoughts that you can't sort through them anymore. You can't dig thought the pile of heavy emotions and philosophies to get to the softer, lighter thoughts of life. Thinking about love and life and religion is just a recipe for long sleepless nights. One day you will look into your mind and see nothing but a monolithic wall of paradoxes and quantum physics and parallel universes and you will feel nothing but hopeless emptiness. You need to let those thoughts free. You need to let someone else appreciate their weight. Without someone like that, I am lonely. I am empty. Let me think with you.

...What now?

Isn't it funny that my social life gets infinitely more bland once I actually have something productive to do? I have stopped frequently talking to you, as you may have noticed. Because I am totally not interested anymore. Anyway, Juliet MK II, how are you? I am talking to YOU more often now. Although I am not sure what to do with Juliet MK II.5. I guess I will just hide in a corner till both of you go obsolete.

I insist that the genera of music called "Electro swing" be referred to from this point on as "Steampunk" because if Steampunk was music, electro-swing is what it would sound like.

I think I have broken my new years resolution already. "Don't trust people who make me happy" seemed reasonable and totally not impossible at the time. If I am lucky I will still have my shields down and my blast doors closed if for whatever reason the fecal matter strikes the quickly rotating flaps designed to provide air circulation, as to protect myself from the inevitable emotional fecal tornado.

Furthermore: kumquat.

That is all.

The Breakfast Club - How does one become a Janitor?

I am the janitor in "The Breakfast Club"

Life is a movie. well it helps me cope if I think of it that way. But I am starting to think that this movie is not about me, nor am I significant to the the plot in any way. I am there as an extra in everyone else's movie. Maybe they have to talk to me to progress their own plot. There is no movie about me. I can trick myself with pretty cinematography and a catchy soundtrack but my life isn't interesting or dramatic enough for me to get a movie. I am not even interesting enough to be featured in other people's movies. I probably don't even get my name dropped very often. I am the janitor in the breakfast club. Maybe I will drop by and make a witty comment and provide some comic relief but thats all. I am unneeded. I am unwanted.

For the record, The Breakfast Club is definitely one of my top five movies of all time. Rest in peace, John Hughes, you amazing son of a bitch.

So here we are, I guess.

2012...

My life philosophy is right again. "I don't know what to expect, but I will probably be disappointed."

Needless to say, 2012 is not very special so far. I didn't have any epiphanies, no one confessed their secret love for me, and all I did was sit in front of my computer, half drunk off screwdrivers and badly mixed martinis, watching video game reviews and debating what to say to her. What to say to fair Juliet. although I assume the first month or so will mainly consist of me finding a new "Juliet" on a weekly basis. Well this is your lucky week.

Anyway, Martinis are way too dry to NOT dilute with copious amounts of tonic water and lime juice. And for the record, I greatly dislike Mint Chocolate Baileys, and mixing it with egg nog is not nearly delicious as it sounds.